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The Amazing Adventures of BRAVEHOUND Irma and a duck called North.
Part 1 – “What It takes”.
“I’ve told you North, NO! You can’t join BRAVEHOUND, you’re not a dog.”
“Woof.”
“That was a quack. Just putting woof in the speech bubbles doesn’t change it.”
“I’ll get a collar.”
“NO.”
“OK, I’ll dribble and look stupid.”
“Watch it North.”
“I’ll wee on my leg and chase plastic bags. I’ll…”
“Can you run around in circles chasing your own tail? No! Can you drink out of the toilet, chew some Jimmy Choos in 5 minutes , dribble on a Dolce. No. I’m sorry North you just can’t cover the essentials.”
“American Express?”
“Ooh that will do nicely – just go to our donate page – link in bio”
Part 2 – “Shopping online”
“Why are you all wet North?”
“I fell in the toilet”
“You did what?”
“I was practicing being a dog and drinking from toilets regardless of other sources being available”
“Are you trying to be clever?”
“No, I am trying to meet the criteria of being a BRAVEHOUND companion; ergo a dog”
“Listen to me my feathered friend, the noble position of being a dog requires many attributes unknown to ducks”
“Such as?”
“Well um… ah, ooh can you do this?”
“What! You just knocked a mug of the table”
“Well, can you do that?”
“And its broken”
“Damn. Aha no worries, BRAVEHOUND have just launched their online shop. We’ll buy a new one”
“Got a credit card have you?”
“Ah…”
Part 3 – “In Disguise”
“What are you doing North?”
“I’m starting my own Instagram account, north_the_dog.”
“Thats just you in dark glasses. You still look like a duck.”
“Buddyholden wears glasses and he’s got 10 thousand followers.”
“Buddy is an actual dog. You are a duck, a waterfowl, a beast with wings.” “Whatever”
“We had dinner at the Grosvenor don’t you know.”
“You and Buddy?”
“No fool, Amanda Holden and I. Buddy is a Holden.”
“Don’t be ridiculous”
“Amanda Holden presented Paul and I with ‘Caring Animal of The Year’ – RSPCA Animal Hero Awards 2017.”
“Poppycock”
“I have dined at many fine…”
“I bet she picked up the bill!”
Part 4 – “Fundraising”
“North! North! Wheres my bone?”
“I buried it.”
“Listen you bonkers bird, burying bones a dog does not make.”
“I wanna be a BRAVEHOUND. I wanna help.”
“Why don’t you buy something from our new shop?”
“Haven’t got a credit card. The bank refused.”
“PayPal?”
“No credit.”
“Aha! Join the BRAVEHOUND community… start a fundraiser.”
“Great idea, use other peoples money.”
“And North.”
“Yeah.”
“Take that stupid bone out of your mouth.”
Part 5 – “smile amazon”
“North, your parcel has arrived.”
“Fantastic.”
“What is it?”
“Derek Dorg’s Detective Disguises. What do you think?”
“Honestly? I see a demented duck in a false beard and… what are those things ?”
“Ears, they’re dog ears!”
“Oh good grief North. You are a duck; D-U-C-K. These disguises don’t fool anyone.”
“Please Irma, I gotta be a BRAVEHOUND. I want to make a difference.”
“Where did you buy Derek Dorg’s Detective Disguises?”
“Amazon.”
“Then shop with smile amazon and 0.5% can go to BRAVEHOUND.”
“Ooh goody.”
“And North.”
“Yeah”
“Take that beard off.”

 

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